


Pam the HR Lady

by rileynoah



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Gaygent Vasquez, This was honestly, all day, the only thing i could think about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 02:03:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10065179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rileynoah/pseuds/rileynoah
Summary: Pam the HR lady does NOT get paid enough for this shit.OrA day in the life of Pam, the DEO's HR representative.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a post on tumblr about Pam the HR lady and could not resist, so here is an average day in her life.
> 
> Thanks to [@404artnotfound](http://404artnotfound.tumblr.com/) for being a _**BOMB**_ ass beta.

She can hear them arguing outside, opening door after door as they presumably try to find her office. It wasn’t the most frequented room in the DEO, that's for sure. She recognises the first voice immediately as Kara’s and smiles, because she hasn’t had the pleasure of meeting the hero yet, and she’s excited to finally make her acquaintance. Though her smile fades as she registers the second voice to belong to Mon-El the frat boy that has continually made her life hell ever since he crash landed. 

A few minutes pass before Kara bursts through her door, freezing in surprise as she takes in the office. The wall are a light beige, in stark constraint to the rest of the DEO building that was composed of glass and lead-lined black walls. Her desk was a dark mahogany and there were little posters and photos all over the place. Smiling in greeting, she stands up and holds out her hand.

“Hello, I’m-”

“Pam?” Mon-El interrupts impatiently. “We were told to come sign some forms because we’re dating. Did you hear that we’re dating?” His sickening grin makes Pam curl her hand into a fist.

Pam watches the way Kara’s eyebrows drop from their ‘surprised’ position to their ‘unimpressed’ position. She glares over her shoulder for a second before turning around to smile.

“Hi Pam, I’m Kara.” She greets cheerfully, and Pam suddenly understands why everyone calls the woman a puppy.

“And you are Mon-El,” Pam finishes, wanting to give the man as little time to speak as possible. It was common knowledge among the few clerical officers that worked in the DEO that Pam disliked him. Hell, everyone disliked him. 

“J’onn sent us up to sign the forms for… dating a uh- a co-worker?” Kara asks, clearly trying to keep up a cheerful tone, but Pam can detect the way it falls around the word ‘dating’, like she didn't enjoy saying it. 

“Yes, give me one moment.” Pam replies with a bright smile, shuffling towards the side of her office where a large file cabinet sits. She sifts through the first draw before pulling out a form from one of the folders. This is repeated a few times, four forms in total are placed on a small desk in the corner of the office and Pam puts a pen beside them.

“Have a seat, make sure you read them thoroughly before signing because you are agreeing to some things that may affect the way you act in the workplace.” Pam informs them professionally, gesturing to the two desk chairs on either side of the desk.

Kara thanks her with another bright smile and takes a seat at the desk with Mon-El. Pam returns to her desk and starts typing up the email she had paused when the pair burst in, doing her best to ignore the way Kara and Mon-El are whispering in the corner.

“What is th- no sex in the workplace?” Mon-El whispers dramatically, pointing at one of the first dot points on the page. “It’s like they don’t want us to have any fun!”

“Or they just want us to be _professional,_ Mon-El.” Kara’s tone sounds exasperated and bored, and Pam can imagine the eye roll thrown Mon-El’s way as Kara doesn’t even raise her eyes. 

“Ensure that- Kara this is ridiculous!” Mon-El whines, throwing the forms down.

“You know what? Don’t sign them then, cause we’re not going to do this.” Kara loses her cool, gesturing between them as she stands. “Let’s just forget this even happened.”

Kara shoots an apologetic look at Pam as she leaves, and Pam only smiles as she watches Mon-El chase her from the room, calling for her to wait.

She smiles again when she hears Kara yell ‘it’s over’ from down the hall.

Good. She _hates_ that frat boy.

~~~~

The next time her door opens, she saw an agent she only vaguely recognises from induction training. She smiles politely and indicates for her to take a seat in one of the arm chairs opposite her desk.

“Good Morning, Agent. What can I do for-” Pam cuts herself when she see’s the one and only Agent Vasquez skulk through the door behind the young agent, lips turned up in a sheepish grin as she lowers herself into the other armchair. 

“Form 407, I assume?” Pam asks in a teasing tone. She only gets a nod from both agents in confirmation and pulls two copies of the form out from a tray in her desk draw. She used to keep this particular form with every other one in the file cabinet, but since the arrival of Agent Vasquez, she had relocated them. It was a similar form to the ones that Kara and Mon-El had signed that morning, but with a few liability clause changes to suit the… _different_ kind of relationship.

Agent Vasquez signs her form without even reading, because she would practically know it by heart now, Pam assumes and hands it straight back before shrinking into her armchair, waiting for the other agent to finish reading. The form is signed and handed back and before Pam can even say goodbye, the agent is out the door and down the hall. Turning back to Vasquez, Pam tuts and shakes her head.

“You’re a player, Agent Vasquez.” Pam smiles at the agents sheepish grin.

“What can I say, the ladies love me.” Vasquez responds with a shrug, standing to leave the room.

“Should I expect you again in the next week or so?” Pam teases, pretending to check her draw to make sure she had enough forms.

“Well there is this new agent…”

Pam rolls her eyes and shoos Vasquez out of her office.

“Be safe! Don’t break anyone's heart!” 

“I’ll try!” Vasquez promises and the door slides shut. 

For someone who works inside of a government black ops unit, you think her job would be more interesting.

But you’d be wrong.

~~~~

“Again?” Pam groans into the phone, leaning back in her desk chair and using her free hand to rub against her temple, where all of the stress accumulates.

“Agent Graham has done the training six times already, and he continually manages to lose it.”

She listens to the agent on the other side of the line speak for a moment, listening to him try and explain away the problem he is facing.

“It’s not like he’s losing his phone, Agent Grey, it’s his _sidearm.”_

“Yes, but-”

“No buts! I have to report this to the director, and you know it. That will be all, Agent Grey.”

Slamming the phone down, she sighs heavily and wonders how a specially trained secret agent manages to lose their bloody gun _six times in a year!_

~~~~

“Jess!” Pam coos down the phone. “So wonderful to hear from you!”

“You too, Pam. How are things over at the FBI?”

“Not too shabby.” Pam doesn’t like lying about where she works, but it doesn’t mean she isn’t good at it.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this call? I don’t recall seeing any news about Ms Luthor being kidnapped again…” Pam trails off, hoping her joke isn’t too dark. Jess laughs a moment later and soothes her fears.

“Purely a social call, actually…. I have some gossip for you!” Jess lowers her voice for the second part of the sentence, dropping to almost a whisper.

“Do tell!” Pam can’t help but lower her voice in secrecy despite being in her very empty very remote office

“You work with that new hero right, the one that is always with Supergirl?” Jess asks, keeping her tone low. Pam rolls her eyes and chuckles.

“Yes, unfortunately I work with that frat boy.” 

Jess gasps lightly. “That’s exactly what Ms Luthor called him!”

“What?!”

“She was muttering to herself under her breath when I took her lunch in earlier, she said something about Kara Danvers and then _‘I’ll teach that no good frat boy to treat my gi- my friend like that’..._ ” Jess pauses and Pam imagines her double checking the door to her boss’ office, making sure she can’t be heard. 

“Oh my goodness!” Pam clutches her heart dramatically. “She is so in love!”

Jess hums in agreement. “I think we need to give them a little push…”

“What did you have in mind?” 

Some days, Pam loves her job.

~~~~

Pam had heard the news from a co-worker. The NCPD Science Division and the DEO had formed a partnership to help solve low level alien related crime in National City. It was a fantastic idea, it meant that the two entities could pool their resources and help each other out. It also meant that Pam would be getting a visit from Agent-Badass-Danvers any day now. She had heard stories about Alex Danvers, and even run into her a few times about medical forms and what not. But for the near three years that the woman had been here, she had never had to visit on circumstances such as this. 

Detective Maggie Sawyer was now technically a co-worker under the new partnership agreement, and so both of them had to come and sign the forms not only for the DEO, but for the NCPD too. Pam, who is fantastic at her job (ask anyone, really), had organised with the NCPD HR officer to fax their forms to her so that she could have them signed all at once and she would express post the originals back.

So there she was, sitting patiently in her office with a stack of forms waiting to be signed by the infamous Alex Danvers and the woman that managed to turn her into a puddle of sappiness and rainbows. Or so she heard.

And so it was confirmed when she heard the giggle that escaped Alex’s lips as she waltzed into the office, hand in hand with a short brunette Pam assumed to be Maggie. 

“Good afternoon, Pam!” Alex greets her cheerfully, dropping into one of the armchairs gracefully. Maggie does the same, and their hands remained intertwined over the arms of the chairs as Pam begins explaining the forms.

“... and I will post the NCPD forms back to them this afternoon.”

“Perfect!” Alex grins, taking all the forms and leading Maggie to the desk in the corner to begin. Pam had been pleasantly surprised. Every story she had heard of Alex Danvers had her believe that the agent would be annoyed by the bureaucracy, but Alex had been all smiles and giggles from the moment she walked in.

When all the forms had been signed and dated, Alex places them all back on Pam’s desk and smiles.

“Was that it?” Maggie asks, already inching towards the door with her hand slipped back into Alex’s.

“That’s all the forms, but you do have to attend the seminar…” Pam replies, glancing at her watch. “It starts at 3:45PM”

“Is that the one Kara and Mon-El will be at?” Alex asks, frowning when Pam hesitates.

“That’s the one they were booked for…” Pam answers cryptically, though Alex doesn’t seem to notice. Both women throw a thanks over their shoulders as they leave and shut the door gently behind them.

Pam tactfully ignores the familiar thump that follows afterwards, and the giggle that turns into a moan. Her office was buried deep in the halls of the DEO where no one was really roaming around. This happened a lot.

~~~~

Alex and Maggie are seated in the conference room already when Pam walks in, arms slung around each other as they chat. When Pam clears her throat to begin, Alex speaks up.

“Are we still expecting Kara and Mon-El?” She asks curiously.

Pam coughs a few times before shrugging.

“From what I overheard this morning, I think that it is unlikely.”

Before Alex can answer, the door swings open and Kara walks through with a half-hearted smile.

“Sorry I’m late.” She apologises as she takes a seat. “Please continue.”

“No Mon-El?” Maggie pipes up and receives a head shake in response.

“Why is that?” It’s Alex this time, her brow furrowed in worry for her sister.

“He’s no longer dating a co-worker.” Kara replies simply without taking her eyes away from Pam. “This was organised for us already, so I thought I would come anyway.”

Pam doesn’t miss the way that Alex frowns in confusion and the way that Maggie breaks out into a large grin. She clears her throat and starts the slideshow behind her.

“Shall we?”

~~~

Another attempt is made on Lena Luthor’s life, which is a nightmare for Pam because of exactly how many forms she has to fill out. DEO agents, whilst generally very good at their job, aren’t the most aware of people when it comes to damage to their surroundings. It comes with the job, focusing on the rampaging alien more so than the office windows the rampaging alien is crashing through, but God, Pam wishes they would tread a little more carefully.

“I think that’s every form we need, Pam” Jess finally speaks through the phone after a long pause, causing Pam to jump from her reverie.

“Great, I’ll have the pair of them sign everything when Lena is out of medical.” Pam sighs, standing to walk to the fax machine to pick up the L-Corp forms required.

“I mean, I know this isn’t the best time but…” Jess trails off, leaving her sentence open and Pam waits for her to continue.

“Are they going to be signing everything together?” Jess finishes and Pam catches on immediately.

“I can certainly arrange it so.” Pam grins. “And, oh, I think I foresee a problem downstairs that I will have to attend to.”

Jess laughs heartily and gasps loudly.

“You should spout some ‘life is short’ speech before you leave!”

“I like the way you think.” Pam gasps in response, making a mental note as she begins to sort the paperwork. “It’s not too soon, is it?” 

If Pam could see Jess, she’d see her waving an arm around and pursing her lips.

“This has happened enough times that Ms Luthor will be mostly unphased. Plus, they’ll never know!” Jess quickly replies to quell Pam’s fears.

The women bid farewell to each other before hanging up and Pam is left to finish sorting out two rather large piles of paperwork that need to be signed. Lena’s pile is significantly larger than Kara’s, but that wouldn’t be a problem.

She calls Agent Danvers and instructs her to send them both up once they’re available, and within half an hour there is a timid knock at her door.

“Come in.” 

“Hey Pam, how are you?” Kara asks with only half of her usual cheer. Her eyes only land on Pam for a moment before the dart back to Lena, watching carefully as the Luthor pads into the room and takes a seat.

“I would be good if it weren’t for this nightmare of paperwork we need to complete.” She jokes, waving her hand at the mess of paper on her desk. Kara mumbles out an apology and Pam doesn’t miss the way that Lena places a hand on Kara’s forearm gently and smiling, muttering that it wasn’t her fault.

Pam settles them down at the desk in the corner, handing them both a pen and their separate piles of paperwork.

“I’m just glad you are both okay, you know?” Pam starts uncertainly, but she powers through when she catches Lena staring at Kara as the hero looks up at herself.

“Life is so alarmingly short. This job reminds me to make sure I am living every day like it could be my last. To do the things I want to do without fear of regret.” Pam smiles wistfully, patting both women on the shoulder.

“Be who you are inside and don’t settle for second best.” She finishes, pretending she doesn’t see the way both women blush and look away.

Pam returns to her desk for a moment, and waits for a few minutes before feigning an email. 

“Oh dear, I am needed downstairs. Are you two ladies okay here?” Pam asks, grabbing her cardigan and heading towards the door. Kara and Lena nod and wave her away.

Pam walks towards the lunch room with a grin on her face, she can’t wait to tell Jess about this.

A week later she receives an email from Jess, the subject line full of exclamation points. The email simply has a screenshot of Ms Luthor’s lunch arrangements for the upcoming Wednesday. Pencilled in handwriting that Pam knows isn’t Jess’ is _‘Lunch @ Sal’s w/ K. Danvers <3’._ That kind of thing would generally be normal for Ms Luthor’s schedule, however the little love heart beside the name was definitely not and Pam wouldn't be surprised if her squeals could be heard from Mars.


End file.
